Happy Birthday Sasuke!
by oh-my-Ra
Summary: XD Its Sasuke's b-day and all he wants do is sleep. No pairing, mild female!naruto bashing.


This is a fic for Sasuke's birthday! I know it's not until the 23rd but I want to get this over with because my dad is showing sudden interest in my sister's PC. Thank Frick he doesn't know the password, 'cause I'd have trouble if he saw my sister's fictions, let alone mine. I don't want to tell him what yaoi means, I wish to live TT He nearly read a SasuNaru one when I went out for a drink one time. Now I know how Sasuke feels, I'm becoming a twitchy, skittish insomniac (I was like that before, but now I barely sleep at all. T-T my dad is seriously everywhere zomg he's a ninja) I hope to get this up in time, because I have writers block (I write a paragraph and then I do a pretty good imitation of Shikamaru, without the IQ points) Enjoy ;)

**Disclaimer: **/kills Kishimoto/ they're all mine! Bwahahaha /gets woken up from dream by scared sister and co./

**Warning:**. As long as Kiba is in a fanfiction, they're will be swearing. Deal with it.

**Happy Birthday Sasuke!**

Sasuke Uchiha stirred in his bed, unwilling to yield to the poking and prodding he was getting to wake up. He didn't care who it was, why it was poking him, or what it wanted. What he **did** want was to stay in bed. He had a damn good reason too! He had stayed up for the past week on a mission, and now seemed like as good a chance as any to get well earned snoozing time. They could go harass Naruto today, Sasuke was sleeping. If Sasuke said he was sleeping, than by damn he was sleeping. He wasted too much time being awake as it was already. He was beginning to resemble Gaara, and that simply wasn't acceptable.

"Hey, Sasuke! C'mon, wake up already!!" It was Kiba bugging me. Maybe they could bug Shino instead. That was not meant as a pun.

Like hell I will. "I'm asleep. Leave or you'll be found dead, and I will be asleep."

"… I can't say I'll disagree with you, considering even NARUTO would have given in by now. You could sleep through a war."

"No, I couldn't. I'd get up to go to the bathroom. THEN I'd hibernate for the war." I hear that lint is edible this time of year.

"I'll sic Akamaru on you."

I have never woken up so fast in my life, and I wake up fast. I hate dogs. I think they're must be some hidden trauma from about the time Itachi went crazy, because I was fine with dogs before…

"That's a good Uchiha." Kiba said, patting me on the head.

"Pat me on the head again and I'll shove a chidori through your liver."

I suppose he got the idea because he stopped patting me on the head. If I had to put a chidori through Kiba's liver, I'd have a headache… I hate headaches. A dead Kiba, as tempting as it sounds, is not worth a headache. Itachi dead is not worth a headache. Don't tell him I said that. That would be embarrassing, what with me trying to kill him and all.

"Why so grumpy?"

I'm grumpy for the same reason Gaara wants to kill people. I do NOT have a rodent in my belly, being grumpy is just fun.

"Go bug window sheen. That was Shino, in case you couldn't decipher that."

"I tried, I failed, and bugs were eating my arm for a short period of time!"

Who says that while smiling? Not even Kakashi could do that.

"Anyways, get up sleepy pants! I gotta get you somewhere real quick or else my head will be served on a silver platter and fed to Tsunade"

Good.

I've never been one for hiding my emotions (well, the ones that hurt people such as anger and hatred), so I just said what I felt.

"Good. Thank whoever does it for me."

"It hurts right here" Kiba frowned, motioning to his chest.

"Your hearts on the other side, moron."

"Yamato, Yamato"

God, he is SUCH a moron.

"Kiba, I could kill you."

"How cruel. How Hinata fell in love with yo- I did not just say that!"

Dude, I thought Hinata liked Naruto. WTFH? When did that happen????

"Great googly moogly."

"Don't tell Hinata I said that! I don't want to die!!!!"

"I won't tell her if you tell her that I really don't like her that much. Neji's cooler." Besides, I want to off you myself. Hinata isn't having all the fun.

"You're in love with Neji?"

"No, I'm in love with Asuma!"

"Really?"

That's it Kiba, you're on my list!

"I better tell Ino"

And you're higher than Itachi.

"Owww! Sasuke, why'd you have to use chidori on my head?"

"I didn't."

"Well it still hurts like a bitch- Hey, that might just work!"

Why does Kiba look like he just had a brainstorm? Is he on acid or something? Probably, oh never mind. Why was I even contemplating Kiba's drug usage?

"I'll tell Ino about you're crush on Asuma if you don't come with me."

"I don't like Asuma."

"That's the beauty of it all"

That dirty little fucker! Next time I fight him I am so killing him.

"Fine."

"Sasuke, my man, you won't regret this!"

"But you will."

"What did you say?"

"You heard what I said, Inuzuka."

"Just hurry up, teme!"

I am still not convinced that that Kiba is really a kage bunshin disguised as Kiba. It's entirely plausible.

"Kiba, can I look yet?"

"No, teme! I can't let you look or else I'll be skinned alive!"

Way to quench my curiosity, dog breath.

"Okay then. WHEN can I look?"

"In a bit."

Can I kill him? I'd make it relatively painless.

Okay, scratch that last part. I might torture him a little.

Okay, maybe a lot. But he deserves it. You know its true.

"Now you can look"

Would it be rude if I take this blindfold off and use it to strangle Kiba?

"Happy Birthday, Sasuke-teme!"

It seems that the dobe set up a surprise party for me.

"Who the hell told him today was my birthday?"

"Sorry about it, teme! He forced it out of me."

"That's it. I really am going to kill him next sparring match,

"Oh hello, Iruka."

I refuse to acknowledge Kakashi.

"No love for me Sasuke-kun. Breaks my heart."

I have to resist rolling my eyes at that one. "Let me ease your suffering."

"After all the trouble I went through to organise this for you."

"You mean after I went to all the trouble."

"I'm only teasing you, Naruko."

"Stop calling me that!"

"You know you love me!"

That's it; I'm going to let myself roll my eyes at that one.

Why is everyone frozen?

"Sasuke-teme, did you just roll your eyes?"

"Yeah. So?"

"But, you're, you're Sasuke-teme!"

"I suppose I should take that as a compliment."

"Now you're cracking jokes!! Zomg, where's the real Sasuke?"

"Very funny, **Naruko**"

"I'll kill you Sasuke!"

"I love you too, Naruko"

"Gyaah!"

I apologise for the poor quality, but I lacked sufficient inspiration. That and my annoying sister shindou was busy bugging me about her KakaSaku/ ItaSaku-ness. I hate those pairing (no offence)!!!! I like yaoi (no lemons!!!)

I really wanted to do a Sasuke birthday fic, so I said why not do it for 08. I'm getting this up early, because I won't be online tomorrow TT. Happy birthday Sasuke!!!!! I love you!!!!!

**Review and wish Sasuke a happy birthday ;)**


End file.
